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Family Support for Dementia: Embracing Understanding and Connection

By Justina Pilkonis Regnet


When a loved one is diagnosed with dementia, it can feel like you’re stepping into an unfamiliar world. Understanding dementia—and the person experiencing it—can become the foundation for deeper connection, compassion, and care. Dementia is not a single disease but a collection of symptoms caused by disorders affecting the brain. While Alzheimer’s disease accounts for about 60% of dementia cases, other types include Lewy Body Dementia, Vascular Dementia, Frontotemporal Dementia, Parkinson’s Disease Dementia, and Mixed Dementia. Each type comes with unique characteristics, ranging from memory loss and personality changes to physical and motor impairments. Learning more about the specific type of dementia your loved one is experiencing can help you anticipate their needs and create opportunities for meaningful interactions.


Dementia alters the brain in profound ways, affecting how neurons communicate and store information. Plaques, tangles, and cell death disrupt the processes we rely on for memory and cognition. While it’s heartbreaking to witness these changes, understanding what is happening biologically can provide clarity and direction. For example, many individuals with dementia struggle with short-term memory but vividly recall events from decades ago. Leaning into these strengths by reminiscing about familiar memories can offer moments of connection and shared joy, even when present-day details feel elusive.


When discussing dementia, behaviors are often framed as symptoms, but it’s important to recognize them as a form of communication. Actions like agitation, wandering, or repetitive speech are expressions of unmet needs or feelings. Interpreting these behaviors requires knowing your loved one as an individual, validating their emotions, and creating an environment that meets their physical, emotional, and sensory needs. Their reality may not align with yours, but by embracing it and responding with compassion, you can foster a sense of safety and understanding.


One of the more challenging aspects of dementia is the disorientation it can cause with time. Many individuals living with dementia experience confusion about routines, misjudge others’ ages, or struggle with sundowning. Their perception of time may not align with reality, but structuring their environment and offering cues can help reduce their disorientation and create a sense of calm. As caregivers, understanding this disconnection can help us be more patient and supportive.


A dementia diagnosis does not take away the need for purpose. Recognizing what your loved one can still do and encouraging those activities can foster fulfillment and joy. Whether it’s folding towels, looking through photo albums, or listening to their favorite music, these moments provide opportunities for them to engage and feel valued. Focusing on their abilities rather than their limitations can help you create a positive and meaningful day-to-day experience.


At its core, dementia care is about honoring the person behind the diagnosis. While the disease may bring changes, it doesn’t erase who they are. Maintaining their quality of life by respecting their preferences, supporting their dignity, and embracing their individuality allows them to live fully in the moment. Dementia doesn’t come with a roadmap, but by equipping yourself with knowledge, patience, and compassion, you can navigate this journey with resilience and love. Together, we can create moments that matter and ensure our loved ones feel cherished every step of the way.

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